Lament, I don’t know what this is…

It’s summer, a time when maybe nobody is reading my blog anyway, so I can sneak in something personal and not get too worried about being too, I guess, “personal”:

Sort of a poem:
Things were beautiful every day, we were happy, we played.
noone knew of the sorrow to come.
we were on the monkey bars in rain or sun.
We painted lilly pads together. You shared your love of soft furry animals,
then one day from nowhere, we found out you were gone.
you became a brief moment of sunshine,
a physical girl so real, who jumped and played,
a piece of sunshine such as every 6 year old is mostly made of,
a tall girl in a cupcake shirt with a big smile and particular eyes with flecks of this color and that,
eyes that refused to be checked off in a box marked “blue” or “green” or “hazel” because they were all of these and none.
How could you be so much here among us, shining bright as the sun, a smile to melt the coldest heart,
and suddenly cold yourself, no longer alive, your beautiful soul is gone.
They say you are a star in the sky.
But that won’t do. We can’t play with you when you are so far away.
Really you are gone forever, maybe in the place of where the ones who haven’t even existed yet are, maybe in another place, the ground, the earth, gone forever.
what good is it for you to be in our hearts when we want you back?
what good is it?
It is not good. It will never be so.

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