Day 81: June 1, 2020

(I’m aiming for a short description of each name on the last post’s poster my kid made for every post, probably separate from the other post.) Here’s the more mundane one:

It’s officially the second half of the year 2020. A time to reflect back on the past six months and how the year has gone as compared to all the pipe dreams I had about it, due to the fact that I will not be alive in 3030, and numbers matter so much to me that I really expected more of you- 2020.

I thought you would bring some absolutely awesome events, from great things for selfish me, to great things to the country and the planet, like the ousting of Trump by any means necessary, slowing of global warming, all student debt forgiven, universal free health care, disappearance of mental health stigma, lowest suicide rate ever….

I thought my big focus on making more money this year, to start with by picking Money as my word for the year. (I had a client who did this and thought it was great. Last year it was Serendipity. I waited patiently all year and then struck it big by getting my parents’ tickets to a luxury awesome cruise ship cruis in the Caribbean not on one of those monstrous awful cruise ships. Thanks to some unfortunate events, my 12 year old and I flew to Puerto Rico and got on the ship. That was my big Serendipity, made even more wild by the fact that it was perfectly timed to avoid the Coronavirus completely!)

So back to you 2020, with the word Money as my word of the year, I was aiming to make more money from selling my art and thus be able to contribute to the family being able to redo the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room. It was a stretch as I would probably need to make at least 50,000$ extra from some huge successes, but all the Abundance people on the internet said aim high. It started trickling in at the end of 2019, and even in mid February I had another sale and made some money from my art. You’re supposed to have a goal that is both ridiculously hard to believe as well as very specific.

(Instead, 2020 played a trick on me: “Now that you’re home for the pandemic, how about instead of redoing this part of the house, I will give you mice, broken washer and dryer, broken water valve, and kitchen floor issues, as well as all the usual problems with your apartment that you now have to spend 24/7 in?)

Then the Coronovirus came a few weeks later. I admit I selfishly thought, “Who the fuck would want a painting during a pandemic? How would it get cleaned and delivered?” This was back in March when it seemed like the apocalypse was nigh. Of course even by the first few days of this Day Count of the pandemic, I had put aside selfish greedy goals around making pots of money, as my health and life and more importantly, health and life of family members, lots of whom are high risk for Covid 19.

Maybe, it being June 1, which I have made so significant for no reason, the half year mark could involve changing the 2020 word to something else more realistic, like: Alive, Healthy, Exploding Mice, Flying Poodles, Lucky, Gluten Free Brownie or loftier: Fitness, Muscles, Candy…

I don’t know. 2020 turned to shit. I’m lucky to be alive and still have my day job as well as my artist job which is always there whether I make a fortune or not, and my health. I need to think of something because Money just doesn’t fit the flavor of this crazy year.

“Badass”. I was thinking “Badass Motherfucker” as the two always go so well together, but this word thing works better with one word to sum it all up.

So today I dub the rest of 2020 “Badass”.


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