August 26, Evening: RIP Trismegistus

Today is one of my closest friends’ birthday. It’s also my Uncle Jacob’s birthday. He would have been 92. He died a month ago or so. I wrote about him here.

Today we got back to Lake View from the cabin in the woods and my kid’s little tiny hamster Trismegistus was dead. Like most kids, she got very upset and cried and hugged us and a while later she told a few friends who knew and loved him and then watched her funny tv show. This is how kids often grieve. I used to call it death and legos. It’s almost Tess’ birthday, my child’s classmate from first grade who died in 2014 on Father’s Day, a really awful tragedy. It was awful telling our almost 6 year old. She cried and was distraught for a while inconsolable and then started playing with her legos and was done for the moment trying to take in such an awful loss. She didn’t want to see Tris. I went upstairs and touched his body, his furry back. So sad, such a tiny being. We got some polka dot fabric and wrapped him in it. First I saw his whole body in a fetal position. It was heartbreaking. Tomorrow we will bury him in the back yard. It’s sort of a good coincidence that we have the backyard as there is no private place to bury an animal in NYC, and no place you can return to, another important thing for mourning.

Since reading and watching Ask A Mortician’s videos I know it’s good to see the dead body, for me at least. My child didn’t want to see him. It felt good to do it for her.

I’m glad if it had to happen that it happened before her birthday with time in between.

I’m so exhausted from packing up the cabin all day and coming here to this news. His name Trismegistus, her naming, is a great story. She had a stuffed monkey named Coo Coo Latte; she is great at naming creatures, stuffed and not stuffed.


2 thoughts on “August 26, Evening: RIP Trismegistus

  1. That sucks! Thank you for telling the story and i look forward to a later post someday explaining the name, which is an awesome name. Death & legos. It’s fascinating to me the various strategies humans use to deal with stress or trauma. My wofe likes to talk and talk until it is all out. I’m more of the crawl into cornwr like wounded animal, and everybody leave me alone dor a couple days. Solitude definitely helps me slowly come to terms with major pain. But i might add in legos too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Crying and a hug for some like the hamster. Not much to share memories since a close friend killed herself. Writing. like the “eulogy” I wrote for my undle and posted here. I’m obsessed with loss, death, mourning etc. as a psychological topic. I love Ask A Mortician. I learned about green burials and read all of her books. I will write about some of her experiences, like the kids sleeping with their dead grandfather in some culture that does that. Her main thing is about being there with the dead body. That was why I wanted to put the hamster in the shroud. I pet him first. Everyone is different but I need to see the body if it isn’t embalmed and made up, just as is, since her youtube and rewatching 6 Feet Under

      Liked by 1 person

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