Last part of Friday’s Reading

I finished this yesterday. It’s got nothing to do with this post but having an image makes the post more fun.

The mysterious Agape card, the last one, my “Why” to go with the Artist in the River using the Stone as the tool- I haven’t yet explored it.

It says, Devotion and Unconditional Love. She points out in English when you’re mouth is agape, you’re in awe and wonderment. Reassess what I’m focusing on daily. I guess when I’m negative and petty? I’m missing the gratitude for daily stuff like my kid texting me to come to her bedroom tonight. She’d already gone to bed, lights out. I had filled her water bottle with cold fridge water as usual, part of nightly ritual. She wanted a big long quiet hug. I told her she was wonderful and other simple love things and she made the heart sign with her hands as I climbed down the bunk bed ladder.

That is what that archetype means for me. Talking to her and spending time with her, saying good night, extra hugs. The real reason to be awestruck and feel unconditional love and Devotion. “Where does the sacred ladder that you climb ultimately lead to?” I read that last part right before she summoned me to come in and climb her little ladder to her bed for extra goodnight hugs.

Now the card makes sense and maybe the whole reading.

As a kid I wasn’t super physical or hug seeking. I don’t remember my family members being spontaneously warm like that. There was plenty of love expressed in other ways, other “love languages”.

I became physical from the beginning with her. Holding her, kissing her as a baby and tiny toddler, sleeping with her from the beginning. When she was really tiny I’d hold her for hours.

Lots of physical affection until she started not wanting it and then backing off and letting her be a big kid. Maybe it’s the pandemic or who knows, but she’s gotten very affectionate with us lately. Who cares why. Hugging and expressing love and affection is great- I now value it much more since being a parent.

I think my parents were very affectionate actually. I was pretty cold and standoffish as a teen. I think there was a lot more hugging and sitting on laps as a kid. My dad had these Russian names. In Russian the name gets longer as you say more endearing parental/grandparental things to the child. “Natashinka” “Natashutia”. My nickname, not Russian, I think came from my sister, “Noochie”. My dad still calls me that sometimes. It’s so old I forgot about it as it was from childhood.

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