Day Before Workshop!

All blog posts related to this workshop will have the category that you can search, “Altered Books Gender Identity Workshop”.

I am excited for tomorrow’s Altered Books and Gender Identity/Gender Diversity Workshop that I am fascilitating at the Expressive Arts Therapies Summit Conference from 2-5pm.

I will be posting materials for the workshop, used in the workshop, and for workshop participants and others to have that have not been fully covered or to continue any topics about altered books as art therapy and gender identity and diversity.

I am going to be “showing” more than telling, in terms of directives that are useful with clients using altered books and directives about gender identity and both.

 

 

The main focus of the workshop can be summed up as:

Let’s play with gender, and let’s acknowledge and celebrate the gender spectrum. Your altered book in progress is your personal gender story unfolding.

I will try to post photos and images to these posts when I have time and hope to post photos from the workshop itself, which I will be writing up to submit to the new Trans Bodies Trans Selves book…

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Picture and Words Project: Limbo

This post should have two photos, a drawing I’m working on, and what I wrote on the back of the paper.

I started this particular drawing at the beginning of August. One of the key ideas about drawing that I wrote about and is important to me is the not knowing how the drawing will end up or look, and trusting the process and the mystery and enjoying it. That is one thing that connects this drawing process to the Altered Books I’ve been writing a lot about. You don’t know what will happen next, or if you will cover what you’re doing now or how things will end up. The book just unfolds as you make it, like with drawing…

Here’s what I wrote while continuing the drawing two months later:

” I started this drawing in August. Sometimes it’s hard to pick up a drawing from a while ago. I can’t get back in it, or I don’t know if it’s perhaps finsihed. This drawing is very unfinished and I felt like going back into it. Sometimes when I use a lot of colors and all different pens, I get frustrated with there being too much color. Then I cover it with a dark color to get it to feel less chaotic. For some reason, this drawing didn’t give me the urge to cover it. I got the urge to fill it up and started on the left side but jumped to the far right side. I haven’t used this paper in a while. It’s think. Also it’s not smooth so you sometimes have to press into it. This drawing still feels like it’s about freedom. Anything can happen next time I work on it. Do I fill up all the white space of leave some of it alone? Is it another cityscape? Maybe it’s something else. I don’t know. It’s a weird limbo. Maybe the title is Limbo. Then I look at it again and feel impatient. I want to finish it quickly. Then when I pick up a pen, I just draw and don’t care about it taking hours more. Would it look different if I spent 3 full hours on it instead of 15-20 minutes at a time? Not knowing is a big part of drawing for me. It’s none of my business how this will look. All I know is the now of drawing it.”

(catching up) Writing 201: Poetry, Day Four — Animal, Concrete Poem, Emjambment

hope is a fish

hang your
velvet trimmed
dusty blue grey hat

on
hope.
hope is

the
promise
that sticks sometimes on a thin piece

of tape curling
the ends.

up at
you don’t know                                               if the middle can
hold it down
but it does.

it

sometimes

hangs by a

dirty
s
t
r
i
n
g
 

dangling over

an empty
bottle
of wine.

like a                                fish                                      it

darts

around.
when you think it’s disappeared-

 

 

 

 

 

it’s just sleeping.

Translation:
hope is a fish

hang your velvet trimmed dusty blue grey hat on hope.
hope is the promise that sticks sometimes on a thin piece of tape curling up at the ends.
you don’t know if the middle can hold it down but it does.
it sometimes hangs by a dirty string dangling over an empty bottle of wine.
like a fish it darts around.
when you think it’s disappeared, it’s just sleeping.

(This did not look the way I wanted it to. I will try to write it freehand and take a photo of how I was thinking it should look…)

The Relationship Map: A Great Art Therapy Intervention!

The Relationship Map is very simple in structure: it is a mandala (sacred circle) drawn on a colored square piece of paper with a smaller circle inside it.

I have found it very useful to do this “intervention” with many adults patients, especially people working on their relationships with other people and learning to set better boundaries. The goal is to build/establish a balance between rigid and loose boundaries, thus “flexible” boundaries. If you imagine a barrier that feels like a brick wall, that is a rigid boundary. An overflowing puddle is an image of a loose kind of boundary, whereas a flexible boundary would be some thing that can move and tighten and loosen based on the circumstances of the here and now, so it is a balancing act, and we all have challenges working on our boundaries. The people who seem to find this exercise the most helpful and useful are those whose boundaries are too loose. They merge easily with others and have a hard time setting limits and saying no. Things like giving people money with no consideration of their own finances, overly caretaking, doing things that later make them feel resentful and upset, but caught in a bind where they feel they have to be “nice” and saying No I won’t do that, or I don’t like when you do that, or I disagree with you, feels like they are being “mean”.

We all have had challenges at crossroads in our lives where we look around and question our relationships and sometimes “weed the garden” and get rid of anything toxic, which could be very deeply rooted.

The first step is to pick a colored square piece of paper and put a paper plate about the size of a face on it and trace a circle. Right away you have a symbol of the self, a mandala. Then I invite you to write your name in the middle with the colored sharpie of your choice and put a heart or other shape around it. Then you write down qualities about yourself such as kind, creative, optimistic, good friend, compassionate original,adventurous, kind or whatever you come up with. It’s a time I will observe to my patient, “You forgot such and such” and give then additional qualities I know to be true about then that they overlooked.

Next, you draw a smaller circle with isn’t the big circle. The big circle can be conceived of as a barbed wire fence with xs in it and then the area outside it you write toxic zone. That is the area to put the people you can’t interact with at all anymore who have become poisonous. It is very therapeutic to have your therapist witness you place bad abusive people in your life in the toxic zone. I am not a proponent of the theory that forgiveness frees you. I actually believe there are people who are so damaging to you that you cannot forgive their actions unless that person realized how terrible s/he has been to you and take responsibility and apologize which, is not a frequent thing. So putting even your own parents in the toxic zone and bring supported about setting a form bound site of no longerletting them into your life is a very powerful aspect of healing.

Another dimension of this relationship map involves, what you start with, whom you put where, and whether you include your therapist herself in it. I also give people an opportunity to suggest people include dead people or animals as well with a different color or shape around them. Some of the nuance of the use of the circles is where you put the person. a person could be right on the line, meaning they are going in one direction or another soon but you’re not quite sure, or someone you just met would be appropriate to put in the outer circle. When someone puts new people in the inner circle, it provides a great opportunity to discuss their patterns of trusting right away and letting people in too quickly perhaps.

The other great thing about this relationship map is that you put the date on it, and make a new one a few months later. I usually have the patient do the whole thing and then bring out the older one and we can see what has happened, who has moved where, who has disappeared altogether, who has appeared, etc.

Below are images of an example of how to make a map like this.
Having a visual diagram is actually a very powerful way to take a good look at the relationships in your life and re evaluate what you want from others and, most importantly, who deserves to share your good qualities that you wrote in the beginning…

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Gift Giving: A Universal Ritual

I started writing this post yesterday and got bogged down in talking about different kinds of gifts I have given recently and the psychology of giving and receiving. Then I was thinking a lot about receiving gifts from patients and all that that means and what to do as well as when to give a patient some kind of “transitional object”… However, I realized that would be a great idea for another post, and that I was straying from my original intention to celebrate cultural rituals.

Not to get on a tangent, but I have worked with patients, especially those with depression or despressive negative thinking about themselves, who have had a hard time receiving gifts, compliments and just good things from others and the universe. Another reason why dogs and cats are so therapeutic. Even the most depressed person will engage in physical love exchange with their animal when they will not talk to any other human.

But I digress. Back to my series about Celebrating Rituals of Different Cultures. When I started it, my intention was to focus on major life events we all share as humans: pregnancy, birth, birthdays, weddings and commitment ceremonies, and funerals.

Gift giving is an interesting ritual to look at and compare attitudes of Westerners and Easterners and learn about specific countries and their customs around gift giving. The Irish people and the Greek people are known for their very wonderful hospitality, which is a wonderful form of “gift” giving: sharing your home with loved ones and even people you hardly know, or just generally making sure people visiting your country feel welcomed. I don’t know if they do this anymore or ever did it, but I swear I’ve seen a lot of movies where, the people are walking down the stairs of the airplane (old movies), and Hawaiians, especially girls in traditional clothing, come and put Leis around their neck (sort of big necklaces made of just flowers… ) Well, I just looked it up and the Honolulu airport has a special welcome recording greeting.

Yes, there are many many different ways of giving and receiving. One of my patients once said of psychological receiving that you can’t “sort of” receive a little of something (like love, compassion, empathy, etc.), you either receive it in full or if you sort of can’t receive it all, you are really not receiving anything…

Japan, of all countries, is known for their rituals of gift giving. I don’t think any other country matches this cultural ritual around giving gifts, physical things mostly, like tea sets, chocolates, Japanese candies which are visually quite beautiful but quite strange tasting to my American taste buds for sweets, vases, etc. as well as envelopes of money. I lived in Tokyo from 1977-1979 and I remember my parents coming home from events with beautifully wrapped gifts. (Nobody comes close to how wonderfully the Japanese know how to wrap gifts. I remember being intrigued and entranced by the beautiful paper and the way it was folded, by the diagonal approach to the paper and trying to imitate the folds of the wrapping many times…) My father would return from business meetings with gifts he’d been given. One man who was a client of his somehow found out I loved music boxes and gave me several beautiful ones that my father would bring home for me. But what is this constant giving of gifts to mark a special meeting, negotiation, business deal, lunch, dinner, party? How did this begin and why is it done?

Here is an explanation of the origin of the gift giving, and no surprise, it actually brings us back to customs around funerals and dead “ancestors”, so I guess this post is still connected to my funeral customs post…: The Japanese have a special holiday for thinking of the dead. Wow. I think that’s a great idea, to devote a day to that.

Major Gift Giving Holidays

The two most popular occasions for gift giving in Japan happen twice a year. Ochugen falls during the middle of the year and Oseibo falls at the end of the year.

Ochugen originated as an offering to families who had a death in the first half of the year and still takes place two weeks before Obon, the Japanese holiday for honoring the dead. Nowadays, gifts are given as a gesture of gratitude to the people who are close to them. Bosses, colleagues, parents and relatives are common recipients.

Oseibo is more widely observed and began from the custom of placing offerings on ancestors graves. Oseibo gifts are typically given to friends, colleagues, teachers, clients or customers, and to anyone he or she is indebted to. These gifts are specifically given to pay back favors received during the year. The value of the gift does matter as the gift reflects the giver’s evaluation of social indebtedness that he or she has incurred. The recipient can accurately determine the value of the relationship by the monetary value of the gift. Oseibo gifts are typically sent out by the 20th of December.

Gifts commonly given for Ochugen and Oseibo range from department store items to food and alcoholic beverages. People receiving gifts for these occasions usually express their gratitude either by writing or calling the person who gave them the gift.”

I also found on this website an explanation of the importance of the way the gift is wrapped. It is considered rude to open a gift when you receive it, which explains why back in 1978 my parents would come home with gifts that were always beautifully wrapped:

When giving gifts or sending presents in Japan, it is customary to show special care not only to the contents, but to the way a gift is wrapped and the wrapping itself. In Japanese culture, gift wrappingcan be as important as the gift, where the gift is viewed as a form of communication between the giver and the receiver. The chosen gift wrapping serves an important role in shaping the messaging associated with the gift. In short, the wrapping is considered as part of the gift itself and should reflect both the gift being given and the emotions behind the gift.

The distinction of a gift being wrapped is an important one when it comes to receiving a gift. Except among close family members, gifts must not be unwrapped in front of the donor of the gift. The recipient should wait until later to open the gift.”

This is from the following website post: http://www.giftypedia.com/Japan_Gift_Giving_Customs

Quick Post About TOAST!

I did not post last week so this post will be for last week! I have the Tribeca Open Artists Studio Tour (TOAST) coming up this Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday, so I have been busy getting ready for a big mass of people to be coming to my studio.

I am posting a few new “Scribble Drawing Collage Self-Portraits” from my latest series of work that I will be showcasing at the open studio tour this weekend…

To view more of this series or more of my artwork, you can visit my artist website at http://www.natashart.com

New Topic: Our Very Emotional Relationships with Our “Companion Animals”

This post will swing back to the more psychological, relationship exploration type of topics, away from the identity and artwork topics I’ve been posting about lately.

Of course this is a very personal topic for me, and I will include my own experiences in here. I have been thinking about posting about this for a few weeks now. I forgot what inspired me to think about this, although I think of my own dear departed doggie daily.

In fact, I have to start with my personal experiences in order to reflect upon this topic…

This morning, by chance, I had a DVD from the library, “Lassie” the movie. I think there may be several versions of this movie. I don’t remember seeing the TV show but I knew about the character Lassie of course. As we hadn’t yet watched it, I put it on and watched it with my daughter. I am very emotional about animals of all kinds, but especially dogs are near and dear to my heart. I was tearing up off and on throughout the movie. The main kid character is a young unhappy boy who misses his dead mother. Of course Lassie attaches to him and even leads him to his mother’s diary in one of the closets. Anyway, the story begins with loss, Lassie’s loss of his former owner, the sheep farmer, and then the boy’s family takes him, and the loss theme shifts to the loss of the mother. At some point towards the end, after a couragesous act of saving the boy, Lassie drifts into dangerous waters and is assumed dead. I knew somehow she wasn’t dead, but I cried anyway. At the end the boy finds her and hugs her and says, “I love you.” Maybe this movie was trite but it certainly touched me.

I have always been aware of the different kind of relationship we have with animals than with other people. Growing up I did not have a “real” pet. I had turtles, fish and at one point, a hamster. For one day I had a cat, that my older brother got me, thinking somehow we could hide it from our mother. The cat found a good home, but for a day I was exstatic to have a real pet and immediately got attached to the little kitty.

Anyway, in my adult life I had a small dog that I got when I was about 24 or so; at the time I was nowhere near “ready” for the responsibilities and everything that go with having an animal, especially a small dog. But it did not matter. Love was in the house and stayed there no matter where I went for almost 17 years. This little dog, during healthy times between 11 and 12 pounds, taught me more about a certain kind of love than anyone in my life could have. It is indescribable, this love between a dog or cat and their “owner”. I will talk mostly about dogs, only because I know more about them. At the moment I am at a loss for words. That moment when the boy sees Lassie through his classroom window and realizes she is alive and has come back to him and runs out to hug her, is a picture worth a thousand words. The way a dog sits when s/he knows you will sense his/her presence, that look on the dog’s face as s/he waits for you to notice him/her; this is very special. A dog will wait full of love and anticipation and solid concentration in a way that is hard to describe. It is not the same thing as your child waiting for you to come home. It just isn’t. Whenever there is a big family that has one dog, there is usually one person that dog especially picks, even if she plays with all the kids and gets walked and fed by everybody, there is one person whom she will be focused on the most, just as in the movie, Lassie senses that the boy needs him the most, even though his younger sister was the one who found her and pleaded with dad to keep her. And that love bond just will not break. It is the strongest thing in that dog’s life, and when he is separated from that person for too long, he suffers in a way that is difficult to describe. This is an inter species relationship that is based on mostly non verbal exchanges. I confess that when my little doggie was alive, I had a million special names, terms of endearment for him. And I do catch myself saying these nonsense love words I made up then to my daughter. Not because she has replaced him or that I link them together in some way; in fact I don’t know why. I guess saying these silly words while holding or hugging her is a way of remembering my doggie while at the same time making her laugh or enjoy them herself. I readily admit that my relationship with my dog was very far from what the famed “Dog Whisperer” says is the proper way to treat dogs. He was my “baby”…

A dog’s life span ranges from about 10 to 18 or so years. For some people who grow up with a dog or dogs, the dog is a part of their childhood. Although my dog died when my child was around 2 or so, she still remembers feeding him chicken, what he looked like and she somehow understands how sad it was for me to lose him. Losing him was her first very early experience of death. It was a bittersweet parting as he had been sick for too long and was at the stage where he really had lost his mind to brain cancer. But I knew he still knew who I was. Sitting with him and saying goodbye to him and watching him be put to sleep was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. However there also was relief that his suffering was at an end, and a feeling of guilt that maybe I had let him suffer too long. This dog also symbolized for me a certain long span of my life where I developed into a “person”, found myself as an adult, went through many different experiences, but always with him at my side. With time I became better at taking care of this very dependent being. He taught me how to think of someone outside of myself, to care for another completely dependent being…

There is something to be said for the structure of a dog’s life and how it helps humans. If you live alone, you cannot stay inside all day, no matter how you are feeling. I have heard many depressed patients comment about how they were lost to human contact, could not function in any way, but managed to get out of bed several times a day to take their dog out for his walks. And no matter how isolated and alone they might be, they were not ever alone at home, as they had their dog sticking to their side, loving them throughout this difficult period. I remember reading that elderly people with a dog or cat tend to be healthier both physically and emotionally than other elderly people living alone. A dog forces you to go outside, breathe fresh air, walk, exercise, and at home, he will stay at your side whether you have forgotten to take a shower or eat but still remember to feed him. I am sure there are many animals out there who have stopped someone dead set upon suicide in his or her tracks. The animal says to you, “I love you. You can’t leave me. You are my LIFE.” When no body else could stop someone from ending their life, the animal companion is there to save the person from himself. Not always successfully, but very often a dog saves his owner from himself and from all kinds of self-destructive behaviors.

Which brings me to more on the topic of animals and therapy. While an animal can be a stronger “anti-depressant”than any medication, s/he can become the focus of the therapy session. Many people acquire their animals in a breakup. Sometimes the person will enter the relationship and the animal will go to him/her, even though the animal was the girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s. And so the breakup happens, and the dog or cat is suddenly yours, as for some obvious reason, you are the one best equipped to take care of it. And it can be hard to have an animal that is associated with a difficult loss in your life. At the same time, this animal is with you in very lonely times and you are not alone, and love has not left the house; instead a different, more steadfast love, is there…

I am not suggesting that an animal can “replace” a romantic relationship, but it is very different to suddenly find yourself single and alone and to find yourself single and with a companion that was there during the relationship’s ups and downs and is still there.

Animals in the therapy session: Many people come to therapy and at some point talk about their relationship with their animal. In some cases, it is because of the above mentioned situation, that the person is aware of “inheriting” the dog or cat a, part of the breakup, and so the animal comes into the session in that perspective. Often the focus on caring for the animal outweighs his symbolizing that failed relationship. Living with this animal you are already involved in a relationship that cannot fail, and you are in complete control, which can be somehow therapeutic.

Another way an animal enters the therapy space is when that animal himself is sick, physically or psychologically. There is nothing more difficult than caring for a being who is suffering yet cannot communicate in words. Babies and small children at least let you know when they are hurt. Many animals are stoic to a fault so by the time they make any noises you know it is really bad. I’ve had patients with their own trauma recognize that their pet came to them also traumatized. I have seen people endure bites and all sorts of weird and scary difficult behaviors from their animals because they know the animal is sick. After all, many loving people aquire their animals as a rescue. I always place as much importance on my patient’s discussing their relationship with their animals as with another person. People sometimes feel silly talking about their dog or cat in therapy, but I always emphasize how central this relationship is to their life.

The worst way an animal enters the therapy session is when s/he dies. I’ve seen people who cannot cry in front of me finally let go and weep when their animal dies. For some people, this is their first experience of the death of a close family member. Even if this is not the case, there is always a mourning process that is usually very painful. Dogs and cats are not built to last as long as people, so when you acquire one, there is this knowledge in the back of your mind of loss. I was very often aware of the precarious part of that relationship with my dog, and that he would not be able to accompany me throughout my life no matter how strong the bond. At times when my dog was older I felt the weight of this feeling that I held his life in my hands and it was my job to prolong it, a job doomed to failure. I also had many tears shed talking to friends about feeling “not good enough” in terms of giving him the best life possible. I guess at times I took this relationship too seriously. And there are times when your animal can feel like a burden; it is only natural to feel this way about a being completely dependent upon you.

People treat the loss of their animal in all sorts of ways. Some get a new but different breed of dog or cat pretty quickly following the death of their animal. People sometimes wrongfully assume you are “replacing” the dead animal, but this is never true. There may be a longing for the presence of a dog or cat in the house to fill that empty space, to comfort you in your grief even to distract you from it. Others may wait a very long time to get another animal they know they will eventually lose as well. The shadow of this next loss mat overshadow how much you miss that special kind of connection you can have with an animal. Of course there is no right answer. No matter what, the loss of an animal requires that you look at your life and where you are on your personal journey when you lose that loved one.

I remember someone thinking after I lost my dog that I had my little girl to “replace” him. If course thus was not true. I did have to continue taking care of her as much as before, but that is different. For me losing him involved losing a certain part of myself. How much that tiny presence in my life taught me about love and how to love. I will carry that with me for the rest of my life. And I do hope one day long from now at a very different time, I will again have a dog. The relationship will not be the same as with my first dog. It’s like a first love, he defined me as much as I defined him. I know that won’t happen again, and that I will not need it again. I will continue to miss him no matter what. It is a heart ache, but I wouldn’t trade that heart ache in for anything…

Weekly Scribble Drawings

Every Monday I try to do a scribble drawing in one of my sketchbooks. This is a great way to keep drawing but also not like working on my other art projects which usually have a theme and concept behind them. The scribble drawing is a tiny visit to the unconscious. You close your eyes or avoid looking at the paper while you scribble. I try to make a loose scribble. Some are more “scribbly” than others. I started doing this at the beginning of December and have kept it up on a weekly basis. Some weeks I’m not satisfied with the first one and if I have time I’ll do a second. The interesting thing that happened is on 2/27 I started incorporating collage elements, just from magazines. It is more fun and right now in all my art work I’ve been obsessed with collage for quite a long time but on my regular work I use all sorts of media and in my scribble drawings I keep it flat as it’s in a sketchbook…
Images uploaded are from the following dates:
1. 1/9/12
2. 1/23/12
3. 2/27/12
4. 3/5-3/6/12

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Dreams and Their Meaning; Dreams and Creativity

I have always been interested in dreams and dreaming. I have taken various classes about dream interpretation, mostly focusing on Carl Jung’s teachings about dreams, now more than five years ago, but I remain open to all kinds of approaches to dreaming and meaning.

I don’t know what came to me or why, but at the beginning of this month, February, I decided to make a real concerted effort to write down my dreams. It started with just a dream here or there, and within a little more than a week, I was remembering at least 2 dreams a night. I thought this would keep up, but it’s an up and down process, where sometimes I have a day or two where I don’t wake up to write down a dream, and then another day I have one or two detailed dreams. I’m hoping with the passage of time, I will be regularly, nightly, remembering at least one dream, and that my dreams will become longer, more detailed, more complicated, or from another standpoint, it could be that I’m training my mind to remember them more often and in more detail.

It is a necessity to have a notebook by the bed and a pen that I like, because I am often writing at 2 or 5 am in a haze. At first I found it hard to read my handwriting, but I started having the intention to write more clearly. Then while reading a book about dreams that I randomly found in the library a while ago, “The Secret History of Dreaming”, by Robert Moss, I was reminded of the concept of the really “rich” dream, the dream filled with symbols, and last week I voiced to myself my desire to dream about animals. I think I was hoping for dragons (it is the year of the dragon) and other mythological creatures. Anyway, I haven’t gotten dragons yet. However, the night of the day I wished for animals, I had a dream with a lot of pink pigs in it that took place in a hotel. (I actually have  had a few dreams in hotels and I remember last time I did this exercise years ago, I had some hotel dreams.) To me, the hotel symbolizes a transient place, and if the setting of the dream is where my psyche is at, having a hotel dream means to me that I am going through transitions, and a lot of temporary things as well as many changes, comings and goings, which seems to be true. A lot of new things are coming into my life, especially my professional life as a therapist. At the same time both the supervision group that I run and the one I participate in are going through terminations and new members and transitions simultaneously. Synchronicity!

So I am hoping I can train myself to have richer more symbolic dreams simply by having the intention of remembering my dreams. I have not done this in a long time, but I remember the last time was for a dream class, and it is very true that if you keep a notebook and pen nearby and are very focused on the topic of dreams, in any way, it becomes easier to remember dreams, and one’s dreams become longer and more complicated. Even the possibility of a kind of chain of dreams where one leads to another, can actually happen. And when you become really involved in the process, you can sometimes engage in lucid dreaming, which did happen to me once a long time ago…

When I took the Jungian classes, the method of interpreting or “translating” dreams was taught in a very specific way. The idea was that dreams contain messages that we need to decode that tell us important things about our waking life and our “attitudes”. Nightmares were seen to be dreams that shout at us that we must change something very big in our lives and “wake up” to some reality we are not facing or the results will be scary and dire. The setting of the dream is seen as the setting of one’s psyche. Having dreams with groups of unidentified men or women is seen as having a very undifferentiated unevolved animus/anima. Having a dream about an older man for a woman could mean that her animus is highly developed and wise. Having a dream of a young woman could tell a man that his feminine side is undeveloped and needs work and integration. The same is true of the Shadow in the dream. Sex dreams can be about connection and integration. There were some other very specific ideas I don’t remember any more. I still remember one teacher saying that dreaming about one’s patient(s) tells us something in the therapy is very wrong and needs to be looked at. I never liked that idea, as I think dreaming about a patient could mean multiple things, including the opposite of what he said, that is, that one is very connected to the patient or that there is something special and positive happening in the therapy. Or it could be about boundaries and fantasies.

However, I like to approach dreams from all kinds of angles, and I don’t believe there is any one way best to understand their meaning, if you believe they have a meaning. I also believe that, if you believe in dreams, if you really believe they are not random and have messages in them, then they do. I have even seen people, actually close family members, who think dreams mean nothing and are just the brains way of tossing around bits of the day or some other biological function, well, I have sometimes seen those same people marvel at a dream they had in a way that shows they have come under the spell of the dreaming mind — the mystery and wonder of it, rather than it being bits and pieces of random leftover brain matter. However this is not a common occurrence. It is we people who love dreams and looking at them, who even find a magic in them, we are the ones who will pay the most attention to them. For us, the dreaming process is a very personal and very important journey of one’s soul and consciousness.

I am also interested in doing this experiment on myself, that is, recording my dreams on a daily basis for an extended period of time, to see if this exercise has an effect on my creativity and on my work with my patients. To see if indeed, Jung’s idea is true that in dreams we can learn about how to approach important aspects of our real lives.

“A Mesopotamian term for an obscure or mysterious dream is ‘a closed archive basket of the gods.'”

“The early Iroquois regarded someone who was not in touch with his or her dreams as the victim of serious soul-loss. A specialist might be called on to bring the lost dreams — and the missing vital enregey — to the sufferer.”

Some quotes from Moss’s book that I like. I do have this feeling that I want to find something by dreaming and catching my dreams, and to feel that I am living my life more fully, more awake when I’m awake, and more awake to my dreams when I sleep…

This post will be continued in a few weeks as I learn more about this mysterious and wondrous process called dreaming.

Next week’s post will be called “Silence and its Meaning”. I find if I allude to the next post in the current post, it helps remind me that I want to address this new topic…