The Mid Life Crisis, Continued. Movies

There have been great movies made about people having a mid life crisis. Too many are about men experiencing one: “American Beauty”, “Lost in Translation”, “Manhattan”, etc.

Are there any good movies about women or other gender identified people having a good old fashioned mid life crisis? Woody Allen made one, “Another Woman”, (1988). It’s a great def fpiction of a woman going through all the aspects of a mid life crisis. There’s the idea of having a sudden break of time, where you’re not doing everything as usual, in this case a sabbatical, then the way things can suddenly appear different and give you a different view of yourself, noticing other people’s perceptions of you not matching your own, the typical suddenly looking at a long marriage and seeing it and yourself and your partner differently. Noticing someone else and it having a big effect on your own self identity and concept of who you are. Big changes happening as a result, some that you don’t engage in as a choice. I found the movie very compelling even when I wasn’t viewing it as a mid life crisis movie.

I can’t really think of or find many movies about women having a mid life crisis. The Huffington Post dug up movies that will make you feel better about your mid life crisis, with women as the protagonist, “Enough Said”, “It’s Complicated”, “The Bridges of Madison County”, “Kramer vs. Kramer”. I draw the line at that one. Just because Meryl Streep is in the movie does not mean it’s a genuine mid life crisis movie. Yes, it has a lot of the ingredients, and she is the character that’s going through a crisis of identity, but she is just too young to make it convincing to me. It feels like she is questioning her life and choices, but it doesn’t have the elements of urgency having to do with a sense of the life span. It’s more like, she’s still young and wants to rewrite her story, but it isn’t that she wakes up and looks back on a long life with many choices and all the other complicated elements of a mid life crisis.

This is movie land, so all the movies you could dig up on this topic are full of the usual drama. There has to be a lot of extreme stuff going on on the outside to portray the big conflicts of mid life that go on inside the character.

In real life, it isn’t always about affairs, divorce, affairs, losing one’s mind, affairs, falling in love with someone really young to gain back one’s youth.

The title “In Search of Lost Time” sums it up well. I haven’t read the book, so it’s the title that appeals to me.

To be continued…

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The New Mid Life Crisis

What is a mid life crisis? Everyone thinks of some middle aged guy with a receding hairline in a red Porsche having an affair with a 20 year old when they here the phrase.

Well, we’ve come a long way baby, since those backwards days. Now your gender doesn’t matter, it’s age that does. It doesn’t have to be about feeling physically past your prime either.

Maybe being 40-45 used to be when people had this “syndrome”. Now it could happen to you in your late 30’s, early to late 40’s or 50’s. Whatever feels mid life to you.

You don’t have to leave your spouse or disappear or find a new identity. You don’t have to spend tons of money on something stupid that is supposed to represent your last threads of holding on to your youth.

What is a mid life crisis? My definition is, you reach an age in your life, where you start looking back on your life, and wondering, sometimes regretting, sometimes wishing, sometimes scared to death. Usually it sinks in that you have less days ahead of you than behind you (I just heard that one, and it shook me). Even if you think you may live to 100, you have an equal number of days ahead of you than behind you, or you feel the weight of whatever many years are behind you and the time ahead of you looms as time you don’t want to waste, time you want to do something that makes you feel alive.

If you’re even thinking in terms of days you’ve spent that are over and days you have got left, you’re probably in the land of the Mid Life Crisis.

So it starts or is defined by a sense of urgency, thinking about your life as limited, ta a thinking about your death and what you did, could have done, could be doing, could do, might miss forever if you don’t do it now.

The actions that go with this self conception, the “red Porsche”, can take many forms. It may seem mild to some, getting a tattoo, changing your hair, going on a trip, taking trapeze or tango lessons, sky diving or bigger things, moving, spending a lot of money on something, whether a house, a car, a swimming pool, a horse, or picking some collection of books to read you never were interested in before. Its could be crazier, starting a drug habit, doing stuff that you always thought were “against the rules”…

There are other types of actions that are not so “bucket list” like things. Changing careers, suddenly realizing you want to run a bed and breakfast instead of working in a big city. Taking up some creative activity nobody thought you were interested in.

What do you think of when you think of Mid Life Crisis? What have you done or seen others do? To be continued…

Book Chapter!

I haven’t posted since February 7. I’m going back to trying short posts more often. I get too long winded and don’t finish posts. Hoping it helps me post more often. Say more with less…

This is the book I have a chapter in. (It’s available on Amazon for range of high prices: 50$ -95$).

The book is edited by Anastacia Kurylo, a Professor in Communication Studies at St. Joseph’s College. She has written several books about communication and stereotypes. I highly recommend her blog, The Communicated Stereotype:

Anastacia Kurylo’s Blog

The book is mostly written by communication professors. Chapter 15, my chapter, is in the last 4th part of the book, called “Practical Tips for  Navigating Intergroup Status.” It’s called, ” Questions That Open up the Field of Impossible Things”.

My writing process, as always, was crazy and torturous, however, I am excited that it has yielded results and an edited finished product with footnotes. I’ve had my visual art in published books before, but this is the first time I’ve had my writing published. The joke is that it is in a book about communication; a lot of people find what I say to be incoherent and confusing! I’m still learning the English Language…

Day 2 of Writing Class: List

These are the choices:

  • Things I Like
  • Things I’ve Learned
  • Things I Wish
  • Things You’re Good At

I wrote a whole draft of a list of Things I’ve Learned, but I decided to do something different with the same topic.

Things I’ve Learned about My “Writer” Identity:

  1. I’ve been hiding in the writer “closet” for years, at least 30 years.
  2. I was struggling with this beast back in 1985 in my writer’s journal for an English Creative Writing class in high school.
  3. It’s always been, “What do I write about?”, “What do I have to say that people will want to read?”, having this urge to write but not having anything to write or write about, least of all fiction.
  4. I try in every way possible to destroy my thinking of myself as a writer or at least place obstacles in my pat. I left the 1985 writers journal on a subway two weeks ago. I was terribly upset and angry at myself. I had lost a big clue to who I was, not as a teenager, but as a budding writer back in 1985. When I first discovered that journal in the spring, I felt like I had been given a time capsule to this person that had been me, at least, what she wrote and how she thought about writing. I found it at this point where I had started writing a lot more again, so it seemed so just right that it fell into my lap.
  5. Did I lose that journal to tell myself that I can’t write or to make things hard for me, did I lose that writer in me, or that key into my mind as a 17 year old, or, did I lose that journal because I don’t need it and have already incorporated that writer inside me and need to focus on what I am writing now or my writing process? the Maybe both are true. The reason I was carelessly carrying around this old green covered Meade notebook was that I brought it to my therapy session that morning to show my therapist. This is a new therapist I am working with after several years hiatus from therapy. One main focus of my therapy is my struggle to be ok with being a writer and with my writing. It seemed even more of a message from the universe that the last event with that journal was for that very purpose. I texted my therapist about it right after I lost it. I seemed to need for him to know that he was the last person to see it and hear it.
  6. The more I write, the more I delete my writing and sometimes edit it but no longer just look at a first draft as finished. I used to write posts for this blog and fling them out there. Now even for the blog, I write many drafts I never post.
  7. I started writing something new in the spring that was a new kind of writing and a new sort of genre I tried out, some kind of  personal narrative. I did not know until then how much my work as an art therapist from the past especially was going into my writing. The other thing I discovered was writing and my daughter, writing about being her mother and writing with her. I already considered her a good writer back when she got excited by writing in second grade.
  8. The whole writing issue, beast or monster is intricately connected with my  GraphicNovel, started in 2000, which is a sort of memoir of the mind. This graphic novel has been torturing me for the past 16 years, most of which have been “writers block” years. It was started with the goal of publishing it; that goal has always been there despite my success in squashing it.
  9. My writing and my art have been coexisting with my Graphic Novel illness. I only realized it with writing recently when I saw that the more I write the more likely I am to get back to the graphic novel, and that whatever I’m writing somehow seems to be an act of avoiding working on the graphic novel, but sometimes seems to get me back to it. The art coexisting has been going on since the beginning. This last project involving cartoons, Bathroom Art Only, is the first series of work where my art directly connected to the graphic novel and sort of spilled into it and the art work threw me back into it after a long block. Then the door closed a few months until my writing flung me back at it. At other times, my art has seemed to focus on being as different and far away from the graphic novel as possible, as if it is trying to keep me away from it.
  10. The graphic novel has become a strange realization of my personal “Pictures and Words” struggle. More on that another time. End of list!

 

Pushing the Blogging Reset Button!

I started this post thinking I would “push the reset button” on getting organizized, however, I wrote myself into a different place. Re reading this post, I still want to push the reset button and try getting “back on tract”, at least for a little while.

I set some blogging intentions on Feb. 8 of this at the time, quite “new” year, 2016. I posted a “schedule”, which the WordPress Experts call a blogging calendar. It was:

Monday: the day to Re Blog at least one other blog post from another blogger

Tuesday: Post at least one sentence

Wednesday: Nothing Required

Thursday: Post at least one image

Friday, Saturday and Sunday: Read at least 5 Blog posts of others!

This calender/schedule did not turn out to be quite right for my blogging “style”. I would divide “individual” (not publications) bloggers up by style only to refer to how often and how regularly they post blogs as well as how they follow or don’t follow a schedule.

“Big Bloggers”: High frequency of posts on a daily basis

“Regular Bloggers”: You know what to expect on a given day, as they are able to follow a daily type of schedule like the one I tried above.

“Distracted Enthusiastic Bloggers”:

Here, I’m referring to myself. I don’t think being “distracted” is bad or good; for me it’s a neutral term. Most bloggers are very enthusiastic; I use the term here because how and when distracted bloggers post is often connected to feeling enthusiastic. So, I have great intentions to become a “regular blogger”. I post often sometimes. I get distracted and “forget” to post. I start series of blogs on a cool topic and forget to keep posting regularly on that topic. For me, even the attempt to post monthly from my art journal is challenging and I often do not follow through.

Another reason “distracted” is the partner of enthusiastic emphasizes how I get excited about any topic and then go full force. Then my excitement drops a bit, and I either get distracted by things that excite me outside of blogging, or I get distracted by my own interests in other topics.

This kind of blogger has some interesting challenges, challenges all bloggers face, but not to the degree and intensity of a distracted blogger.

Yet, am I putting my round peg into a square hole? Are these my challenges as a blogger, or are they other bloggers’ challenges I think I am supposed to have? Obviously I face this question constantly in the non virtual world.

Back on topic, here are the challenges I see:

  1. Post regularly.
  2. Post frequently.
  3. Stay on topic
  4. Follow my own rules and intentions

What makes these challenges so hard for some and much easier for others?

Maybe partly because the act of “Blogging” itself lends itself to doing things that way BUT also lends itself to not posting according to those challenges.

Blogging is the most “accepting” medium of writerly writing I’ve found. By writerly I mean by people who are interested in “Writing”, what to write, how to write it, when to write it, where the writing belongs in genre or medium, etc.

Blogging as I’ve said in other posts I don’t remember posting, is the nicest place to write. You can blog once in a while; you can post anything you want. You can post quickly and skip the step of worrying about your audience because other bloggers are kind people for the most part. You write for anyone to read your blog, and at the same time, you write for other bloggers because blogging involves community. I would even venture to say that because the blogging community is so warm, accepting and welcoming of all kinds of people and writers, it is a therapeutic “place” for “sensitive” writers like me.

Blogging also lends itself to multiple identities types of writers. I am a “multiple identity” writer/blogger. I post poems, opinions, ideas, images, non-fiction meanderings, journal style posts, reblogs with introductions. Many bloggers write and post in this manner; some are distracted, and some are regular, frequent, organized.

To post the way I think is best or to post my “default” distracted enthusiastic way – that is the question.

From this struggle as a blogger, I emerge with the dialectical answer, keep doing both! Of course by getting organized and frequent/regular at random times and other times posting with no set plan seems to indicate that I will remain a distracted enthusiastic blogger.

While life outside blogging remains hugely challenging due to this pattern I have, I know that with blogging, I can just be myself. The “blogosphere” answers with a “yes” of course. Be yourself, whatever that means, including: be the blogger who tries to blog in all ways possible, even the blogger who forgets for big chunks of time to post, but no matter what, your enthusiasm is rewarded by the blogging community!

Guidelines about Boundaries in THERAPY

This is my post for my Tuesday “words” post.

Finding a therapist that is a good fit is hugely helped by the internet. In addition, if you’re confused at any point about the therapy and your therapist’s boundaries, You can find a lot of top ten lists online about therapist’s boundary violations.

In fact, here is a great list of 30 things to watch out for in your relationship with your therapist. All are very good things to notice; a few things on the list are sometimes ok if you feel your therapist has your best interests in mind (ie. when therapy is free of charge, what are the terms of the contract?)

http://www.therapyabuse.org/p2-wrong-questionable-treatment.htm

Here is another good, slightly humorous view of top ten things you might not know about therapists:

http://www.bustle.com/articles/61462-10-things-therapists-wish-youd-understand-about-what-they-do

I thought I might have something to add to these very good tips and important boundaries to the only thing I think might be missing from these types of lists:

THE INTERNET and SMART PHONE DOS AND DONTS in THERAPY

The internet and other technology make every field completely confusing again and cause us to scratch our heads and reconsider the way we do what we do. From the law to the music business to anything, we need new GUIDELINES:

The Internet (social media, websites, etc.)

DO NOT GOOGLE or LOOK UP former patients:

One interesting mention of the internet in the second link was about how therapists do think about former patients more than you’d imagine but we still don’t/shouldn’t google them to see what is going on with them.

I know that is a good one, as I have been tempted, when thinking about a former patient, to look them up and see how they’re doing/what they’re doing. I have NOT done so with anyone, as I saw a big STOP sign in my head and it was a fleeting “fantasy”.

Social Media makes things extra fun and confusing:

USE SOCIAL MEDIA THERAPEUTICALLY ONLY:

It is great for people to find support and other people going through their experience, whatever media they are using, Youtube, Facebook Groups, Facebook, Pinterest, etc. I often recommend to patients who are interested and use social media, that they look for support groups and other things online, AS WELL AS out in the physical world.

I have watched a few Youtube videos made by patients and listened to Podcasts. The reason is important: The patient wanted me to and asked me to and it was always an important aspect of their therapy work, especially self-esteem and recovery topics. I have even used Youtube videos in session when appropriate.

In addition art therapy gives a patient alternate ways to express him/herself, including through social media. Think of it as similar to brining in some art you made between sessions that is relevant for therapy.

SOME DON’TS OF SOCIAL MEDIA. Some seem obvious:

DOn’t be Facebook “friends” with any patient and with former patients, with some exceptions about former patients. You cannot control patients accidentally seeing posts of yours and finding out you know someone in common. There are proper ways to handle this which would be a post in itself. Start with asking your patient about it  or if you found something, telling them as soon as possible and exploring this.

DON’T connect on  LINKED IN with patients and most former patients. If you’re in the same field, art therapy, you may not be able to avoid some LINKED IN stuff and can have a little more flexible boundaries about it. I never accept Invitations to Connect from current patients; I don’t usually bring it up unless my patient is on LINKED IN a lot or brings it up themselves.

TWITTER: Can I “follow” some patients on Twitter? My answer would be what’s the reason? I have avoided it except in cases where someone had something important related to treatment on Twitter. As a rule, I abstain.

FACEBOOK PAGES: I have public Facebook pages that I cannot avoid patients finding and considering “liking” my page. As they are related to therapy and art, I consider it ok for patients to do that only if they decide on their own for some reason. Also, I do not look a lot at who is “liking” my pages and don’t care much about how many followers or who. IF you’re very into that, be aware of any feelings about patients liking your posts or not…

In some cases you may have liked someone’s Facebook page and then found a patient involved with it. There are cases when you can’t avoid this, especially having patients who are/were art therapists and got a diploma from the same place. Your worlds will be very close and it’s a good boundary test to be aware of this. (IF I am attending an event or workshop etc. and a patient is likely to be there, I process this with the patient before hand.

BLOGS:

This is a huge question mark for me. Do any of my patient s or former patients follow or ever read my blog? I actually don’t know. When I post here, I am aware that a patient may come across my blog, so I do have that in mind. As a rule, if it does not come up, I of course do not bring it up, and if it does in the future, I would of course explore the topic with my patient. I have read a patient’s blog only if they give me the link and it is connected to their recovery and they want me to see it.

Therapist bloggers out there: Please share any further guidelines and experiences! You can put it in my comments section.

Blogging Classes: Most therapists out there don’t take these classes, but I do, and I even recommend some of them to patients. If I recommend a particular class, I do not enroll in it, even if I thought I wanted to before. If I found a patient in a class, I would address that and most likely leave the class or at least stay passive (no posts or comments on Blogging U site).

DOs and Donts of SKYPE/Video session: A big topic to address in future…

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Next post could be about the SMARTPHONE and boundaries. It’s a fascinating aspect of therapy and books or at least long chapters could be written about the uses and abuses of the SMARTPHONE technology…

 

Tuesday Blog Day: “The Cornerperson”

I’m still trying out my new blogging schedule, so this will be for Tuesday, Feb. 16. Tuesday is the day for using words to say something in one or more sentenceI’ve heard this phrase from a few patients about therapy, even about me being in their corner when they are not!

Interestingly the idiom originates with boxing, which I often conjure up as a therapist. It feels like I am in the ring but in the corner; I’m not a boxing expert; in fact, as usual with blogging, I learn something just by getting into a topic. Check out this list of boxing terms:

http://www.predictem.com/boxing/terms.php

The “cornerman” (“corner person”), also called the “Second” is one of several people who work in that corner during the “fight”. The head trainer is described as a Chief Second.

“Go the distance” is from boxing too, and also can be used as a metaphor for therapy.

SO,when you think of therapy as a process and the role of the therapist, one way to describe it is that the therapist is your Second, your Cornerperson, and sometimes you may notice that the therapist is in your corner even when you are not. What this means for me as an art therapist is that I am familiar with sitting or standing patiently in the person’s corner, even when they seem to be hiding or in the other fighters corner. Perhaps the interesting question would be, “When it feels like I’m in your corner when you’re not, where are you?”

Does this mean life is seen as a “boxing match” which involves fighting another person with your gloves on and there being winners and losers?

Not really. To me maybe the boxing match is useful for a person’s process in therapy. Are they fighting themselves? Are they fighting imaginary opponents or very real ones? Are they training and not fighting to win anything?

Maybe it is more accurate to describe the  therapy process as a boxing match that has the patient, their other “parts”, and the therapist in their corner? During therapy you see and accept parts of yourself that were in the “shadow” part of yourself. Integration can involve accepting all parts and having all parts be in the “Whole” gestalt of you and your Self concept. Perhaps seeing the extreme parts of yourself, such as the self-hater and the “grandiose” self, could be seen as having those parts in the ring and at some point they don’t fight each other, they can co-exist side by side. At first, the self-hater may  be taking up most of the space and you can’t even see your grandiose self… Part of the therapist’s job may be to see some parts that are mostly in the shadow and help the person look at that part without hiding from it…

David Bowie, Thank You

“Gimme your hands cause you’re wonderful (wonderful)”:

This morning I woke up to the news of David Bowie’s death. A heavy loss for his family and for the world. For me personally, it is more than sad. I feel like a brilliant light has been blown out, too soon. I can’t describe everything I am grateful for that David Bowie inspired for me. I want to write and post this today to honor him, so I will try to keep it short and organized…

David Bowie was/is one of the most important creative Public Figures in my life and my life as an artist. Before I had an idea of becoming anything, much less a visual artist, I loved Bowie. I first discovered and embraced everything I found about him while in first years of high school. It would not be crazy to say that he and Katherine Hepburn, another big love of mine, also a gender non comforming rebel, helped me enormously on an emotional level to survive a turbulent, confusing, sometimes lonely, amazing and crazy time of life. During the adolescent years when we are going through crazy transformations and trying to figure out who  the hell we are, these two icons in similar and different ways spoke to me and inspired me, not to make art, but to dare, to stay on earth, to discover and adventure, to embrace my uniqueness and weirdness.

As there was no internet in the 80’s, I had these two shining examples of people who said yes to T. S. Eliot’s question: “DO I dare disturb the universe?” On my senior high school yearbook page, I had that quote and Bowie’s: “We can be heroes, just for one day.”

I could continue about how David Bowie got me through some rocky times of confusion and contortion, but I wanted to say more just through his words, as I loved his way with words, whether lyrics or just things he said that came from him, in interviews, casually. I’m assembling a few from today, in memories, and including some things I just found today that speak to me and my history:

“He took it all too far, but boy could he play guitar.” -from Ziggy Stardust

 “I GLIT from one thing to another a lot…It’s like “flit”, the 70’s version.” I found this gem from his  Dick Cavett interview that speaks to the parts of me that are interested in any random thing and quickly bored and moving to something else shiny and new.

“Being an artist of any kind …a social dysfunction… An extraordinary thing to want to do… “-said to Charlie Rose in answer to some kind of question about creativity and craziness

:He’ll think about paint and he’ll think about glue,
What a jolly boring thing to do.” (and the whole song, Andy Warhol) One of my favorite of his songs. This goes through my head all the time, and sums up a lot of my days spent enjoying things like new scissors, glue, a new kind of paint, brush pens, any discovery of a magic art supply.

This is just a taste of the biggest part of his message for me, about being true to who you are, and accepting yourself and really celebrating your uniqueness.

My favorite Bowie song in high school was “Rock and Roll Suicide”, the last of the Ziggy Stardust album/concert footage. It’s not about suicide really; what spoke to me was the verses about not being alone. Growing up is often a lonely scary process for many of us…

Oh no love! you’re not alone
You’re watching yourself but you’re too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if i could only
Make you care
Oh no love! you’re not alone
No matter what or who you’ve been
No matter when or where you’ve seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain
You’re not alone

The last verse of that song is what I will end with. I have in my mind the image of Bowie as Ziggy Stardust leaning down and holding the hands of the outstretched audience. A beautiful image of connection. Ziggy Stardust at least for me was a complex person/persona and felt like a friend, not an aloof outer space creature actually:

Just turn on with me and you’re not alone
Let’s turn on with me and you’re not alone (wonderful)
Let’s turn on and be not alone (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you’re wonderful (wonderful)
Gimme your hands cause you’re wonderful (wonderful)
Oh gimme your hands.

Thank you, David Bowie, for all your gifts to us, from the bottom of my heart…

Mental disorder identity comic

This is so important! Many people find their diagnosis to have really helped them to understand their illness and respect themselves and also not feel alone in their struggles with mental illnesses. It can be very empowering. Of course there are others who want to identify in a different way which is also fine. The first choice of saying “I am” gets criticized more by others and really needs to be as respected as any other choice including the choice to just identify as a person, not a person with a mental illness. There is room for all! Great comic

How I arrived at the idea for a “One sentence/Image or 3 images/sentences”!

This post will be long and seem disorganized and many sentences and will be followed by my short posts, my newly invented Blog Prompt (one of the assignments of the blogging class), which is to make posts that are One Sentence Long!

First of all, the great benefits of taking a Blogging Class in the WordPress Community:

  1. You can trust it’s pretty safe, as the majority of other bloggers are super accepting of all kinds of people, blogs and posting styles.
  2. You can trust you will learn Assignment 1 no matter what you do! It involves the identity of your blog, why you’re blogging, how etc.
  3.  My creative process has to be edited and organized and suppressed in all sorts of everyday settings. Here, as in art work, I can “let it all hang out” with only great consequence, unique to the internet, WordPress, and this class/community!
  4. The class accepts and embraces these aspects of my creative process/blogging: not doing homework or doing it in any order, not participating for a week or 2 and then participating a LOT, going in and out of attention to blogging class, getting easily distracted by a million blogs, starting blogging tasks and not finishing because already distracted by a million cool things on the internet, getting confused by anything with too many details, and being able to ignore complex stuff in the class and jump around in a fast seeming “disorganized” creative brain way. I’m even allowed to appreciate and absorb other bloggers blogs any way I want. I can read a little and comment on one thing. I can read it then not read it again for a long time. That means there aren’t the usual restrictions on Reading (from elementary school Reading and Reading Comprehension Class): read the first time for the main idea ,then reread to absorb something they want you to get, prioritize what the writer wrote and be able to spit it back in a way that shows someone very organized how well you read it. Ask the questions we say you should ask.

That is a big one, as my natural reading style is probably called ” Inattentive” I am irrelevantly attentive to some things and not attentive to so-called important things in a Seemingly Chaotic way, reading very fast and not wanting to reread most things. Jumping around with my mind and having my own weird reactions and importances…

The rules of the Blogging Class Commons are all useful and helpful and help you contain your Creative Blogging Mojo safely: make comments on the Commons (WordPress’ cool classroom, which of course is in the form of a blog where all participants can share their ideas: Make them brief. Post link to your blog. Don’t put your blog post on the Commons blogging site. Be considerate and kind of all other bloggers. Post only in English language. Then from there, the other rules of Acceptance of All Bloggers Involved in the Class!

  1. You don’t have to remember other classmate’s names or be distracted by what they are wearing, how they are sitting, and all the other stuff in a regular non-virtual class. AND, you are allowed to remember the way your remembering process is, not the way you are told to remember something! That is HUGE. I wish Blogging had been there for my years in high school…
  2. Basically, the virtual atmosphere of WordPress promotes and attracts people who naturally have the following: Total Tolerance and Acceptance of Other Bloggers’ unique process and blogging style and personhood/identity; the appearance and content of your blog MATTER. What you look like physically or how you stand, walk, sit or talk doesn’t matter at all! Yay.
  3. Big one, post as long as you want and have very longs meandering sentences which get you in big trouble in outer reality conversation but are ok in the blogosphere! Or do short posts or post whatever you feel like in whatever way and order or disorder that you want! As opposed to college essays etc.
  4. This means having a messy sloppy overfill, disorderly distracted, irrelevant, non linear, non-anything, non logical imaginative mind works fine.

In addition: the class also is great because:

  1. there is a great balance between working on your own blog and also looking at other people’s blog, blog style and content, and their blogging process unique to them. You learn from blogging and sharing and equally from looking at/checking out other people’s blogs!

(Just want to say Blogging is probably one of the few types of writing I have ever done where my crazy writing/creative process is pretty much unobstructed by being required to write for certain audiences because the internet audience who look at my blog are basically all a “curious and neutral and validating” audience. I have found this nowhere else! It explains why I get super excited whenever anyone in non-virtual reality mentions that they have a blog and have to suppress all the questions and just observe while being excited, limit questions and be brief in mentioning my own blog or notice I should NOT mention my own blog. On the internet you can show off your blog everywhere and get  whatever amount and intensity excited about any Blog and Blogger with only mostly wonderful consequences!!!)

Other great things about the class for me personally specific to my style of blogging AND learning especially learning: I figured out the why of the how of my process of Learning Anything from another language to how to take a train somewhere:

The class accepts and embraces all styles of Learning Stuff: for me, going in and out of attention to blogging class, getting easily distracted by a million blogs and blog topics I like, not doing homework in sequential order, starting blogging tasks and not finishing because already distracted by a million cool things on the internet, getting confused by anything with too many details, and being able to ignore complex stuff in the class and jump around in a fast seeming “disorganized” creative brain way. Also being allowed to not take in information if it feels like something to put off till later. AND you can ask for advice, go back to your blog and do what you think is right, then go back and read the advice without being judged for not Waiting and going about decision process in a backward way!!!
2. Being allowed to post this too long post with no bad consequences! As opposed to talking too much in a non-internet classroom where it’s seen as “hogging”. There’s room for everyone here!

3. you can think out loud to learn stuff and not be told anything or have your long crazy thought/ideas interrupted because it’s making no sense and too long and not staying on topic, like this post

SO this post is a great example:

I’m excited about discovering how my weird brain can be used for blogging and the class without having to change or control my brain process. I then decide to share this excited idea with the class. I start posting in the Commons, and very new for me, I don’t post my thoughts quickly on the commons, I realize it’s too long and can be a blog post I can share as a link with the others. So I decide to do one of my long thinking on the page posts and can illustrate all this by numbering things and not caring if they belong with the other things, AND, I am allowed to repeat myself with no consequences. In non-virtual life, I found out I say the same thing too much.
And noticing a thing that is irrelevant to the current focus of class!

Given my presentation of all the above,  and probably in answer to a few of the assignments in the class that I don’t remember in front of my brain:here is one Dilemma I have had since I started blogging:
Subjects for Bloggging: In one day I post a thousand blog posts in my head. As soon as one topic’s novelty wears off I want to move to something else irrelevant, AND I can’t figure out what to pick to post versus keep on the shelf for later…COnfusing.

My particular Blog TOPIC Choice Dilemma seems to involve very impulsive reactive type of excitement, limited attention to one thing at a time, and lots of attention to all kinds of things all over, and a very ingrained brain thing of not wanting to stay with something for what seems like a long time and is not to others because there is other cool stuff. Having impulsive attention style. Works for art to be into anything from a certain kind of glue to a scribble on a page, to change focus whenever however much!

The reason I don’t follow up when I introduce a sequence of posts if I plan to discuss it later on whenever: It is NOT that I have some problem with follow through or organizing or what you should do when you say you will follow with more of the same:

I thought it was laziness, that I had this great idea for Nutrition and Psychotherapy involving many blog posts was that I got excited about it, wrote the post, then didn’t feel like writing any more about it, thought I could “Catch up” later. It wasn’t laziness, it was the BLOG TOPIC dilemma. When you’re interested in lots of things as a “creative artist”, you want to put something on the paper, then get into some other cool thing or material, and so on. It works for my visual art, and now it works for my blogging style…

My current solution that of course seems totally original but is not is: Post a sentence whenever you want to post with no schedule of frequency or need to conform to anything except that it be one sentence or a sentence and an image… Sort of a more free kind of Twitter type of communication that I wish was Twitter Rules: only one sentence but it can be as long as you want! and have an Image too (which is part of Twitter)
I have impetus to write more on here and it’s too long already, another ADHD thing.

Next post may be a continuation of this one, not one sentence, about my use of mindfulness in blogging to help with my blogging “issues”… So I am going to cut out the next big paragraph and save it for that…