(LADY) You’re too needy.


Just found this gem on Facebook the other day. I could say about 9 different thoughts on this photo but seven will probably be sufficient and I don’t need to make this too long:

1.) Even though there’s a part above with a visible writing of “LADY”, this message is for all genders.

2.) What is “too needy”? Can I be a little bit needy or somewhat needy or needy but not telling you my needs to keep myself from appearing to be “too needy”?

3.) What’s wrong with being “needy” that you could be more needy than the allowed amount? I gave you a quart of needy and you spilled over into a gallon.

4.) FYI: Origin: From Middle English nedynedi (“necessitous”), from Old English nÄ“diÄ¡*nÄ«ediÄ¡ (“of need, obligated, compelled”)

In the phrase above, needy is not the noun for “poor, in material need”, but must be the adjective meaning “desiring constant affirmation, lacking in self confidence.”

5.) Our culture seems to say through all kinds of messages and media, “It’s pretty bad to be needy, and it is really bad to be too needy. You should be able to  do most things on your own without needing anything much from others. Or, if you’re needy, it’s ok to need things like help with learning a skill or task; needing affirmation and validation that you are great as you are, good job, etc. is not good. You can get it in an acceptable manner if you just do things well and don’t ask for praise. Even babies are seen as being in danger of getting too much attention and becoming too needy forever in the rest of their lives, when they are asking for it or something. “You’re spoiling that baby.” means, “stop giving that actual baby so much attention and be careful about paying extra attention to this baby if the baby doesn’t need physical stuff. Don’t hold that baby too long. S/he will never learn to walk.”

On the other hand, you do need a lot of things we recommend you get, like this smartphone, this smartphone plan, this medication, and this breakfast cereal. You also might need jean pajamas, blockbuster mainstream oriented films, celebreties , and speaking of celebrities, you might need to know that they need the same things we need, like animal companions, coffee, walking  around to do errands and going to rehab.

6.) Need I say more? Of course. If you are with a romantic partner or have a really close person in your life, friend or family member, even your own child (if you need love from your kid, you are asking for trouble in ten years) and sometimes want from that person stuff like attention that you know is too needy, try giving them a bunch of attention that doesn’t seem too exaggerated and is geared to their needs that they don’t want to admit they need. It has to be packaged the way this other person would accept and receive it, so don’t give flowers to a person who is allergic to flowers and/or hates flowers. Try out some kind of physical contact but don’t make it seem like a big gesture. In this case, it’s best to control your need for acknowledgment that you did a great job doing this. Try out something little three times, then wait and see what happens. The worst thing would be that they don’t notice or say thank you, right?

7.) What kind of attention do you need that you’re embarrassed to ask for? Do you need to get a small amount of attention for not being needy and being good at everything? Don’t tell anyone in your real life; just start blogging!