New Idea: I love fashion…

This is an example of a mid-rise reset button. For example, I notice in a bigger way what my constant interest in and excitement about clothing is about. I knew I loved fashion and putting together outfits, that I’m really a visual person and drawn in by the creativity of fashion.

Putting this together, I saw how I can see this in a much more meaning way; coinciding with me realizing I’m not having a mid-life crisis or mid-life review; I am creating my own mid-life reset button.

I already had my “crisis” about thinking I was having a “mid-life crisis. I pondered it more and realized I want my mid-life experience in the here and know to be a meaningful process of tying together things from my past self and seeing how they connect in a meaningful way. If I didn’t live awakened and fully present in my past, I can do it now and see what there is to see. I thought it was extremely narcissistic to be looking at this whole topic. I should be caring about the world now, putting aside irrelevant activities or using them as breaks. Maybe that is true. I guess it’s my life, and I am actually participating in the fight for democracy and civil rights and really to get rid of the current president…

Anyway, I have decided to post images of outfits, maybe daily probably once in a while. Take photos of the different aspects of the outfit, talk about what it means for me if it’s connected to something important. Like the headband I’m wearing. It has story. The other clothes I’m wearing have stories too.

Maybe in posting more often, I will pick a specific part of the outfit, including accessories and just muse about that in order to not get overwhelmed. I’ve given up on worrying about readers of this blog getting overwhelmed or confused. I’m never going to be able to unconfused anyone. It’s blog: you’re allowed to be narcissistic and people often look at pictures, read a bit, and move on.

The Mid Life Crisis, Continued. Movies

There have been great movies made about people having a mid life crisis. Too many are about men experiencing one: “American Beauty”, “Lost in Translation”, “Manhattan”, etc.

Are there any good movies about women or other gender identified people having a good old fashioned mid life crisis? Woody Allen made one, “Another Woman”, (1988). It’s a great def fpiction of a woman going through all the aspects of a mid life crisis. There’s the idea of having a sudden break of time, where you’re not doing everything as usual, in this case a sabbatical, then the way things can suddenly appear different and give you a different view of yourself, noticing other people’s perceptions of you not matching your own, the typical suddenly looking at a long marriage and seeing it and yourself and your partner differently. Noticing someone else and it having a big effect on your own self identity and concept of who you are. Big changes happening as a result, some that you don’t engage in as a choice. I found the movie very compelling even when I wasn’t viewing it as a mid life crisis movie.

I can’t really think of or find many movies about women having a mid life crisis. The Huffington Post dug up movies that will make you feel better about your mid life crisis, with women as the protagonist, “Enough Said”, “It’s Complicated”, “The Bridges of Madison County”, “Kramer vs. Kramer”. I draw the line at that one. Just because Meryl Streep is in the movie does not mean it’s a genuine mid life crisis movie. Yes, it has a lot of the ingredients, and she is the character that’s going through a crisis of identity, but she is just too young to make it convincing to me. It feels like she is questioning her life and choices, but it doesn’t have the elements of urgency having to do with a sense of the life span. It’s more like, she’s still young and wants to rewrite her story, but it isn’t that she wakes up and looks back on a long life with many choices and all the other complicated elements of a mid life crisis.

This is movie land, so all the movies you could dig up on this topic are full of the usual drama. There has to be a lot of extreme stuff going on on the outside to portray the big conflicts of mid life that go on inside the character.

In real life, it isn’t always about affairs, divorce, affairs, losing one’s mind, affairs, falling in love with someone really young to gain back one’s youth.

The title “In Search of Lost Time” sums it up well. I haven’t read the book, so it’s the title that appeals to me.

To be continued…

The New Mid Life Crisis

What is a mid life crisis? Everyone thinks of some middle aged guy with a receding hairline in a red Porsche having an affair with a 20 year old when they here the phrase.

Well, we’ve come a long way baby, since those backwards days. Now your gender doesn’t matter, it’s age that does. It doesn’t have to be about feeling physically past your prime either.

Maybe being 40-45 used to be when people had this “syndrome”. Now it could happen to you in your late 30’s, early to late 40’s or 50’s. Whatever feels mid life to you.

You don’t have to leave your spouse or disappear or find a new identity. You don’t have to spend tons of money on something stupid that is supposed to represent your last threads of holding on to your youth.

What is a mid life crisis? My definition is, you reach an age in your life, where you start looking back on your life, and wondering, sometimes regretting, sometimes wishing, sometimes scared to death. Usually it sinks in that you have less days ahead of you than behind you (I just heard that one, and it shook me). Even if you think you may live to 100, you have an equal number of days ahead of you than behind you, or you feel the weight of whatever many years are behind you and the time ahead of you looms as time you don’t want to waste, time you want to do something that makes you feel alive.

If you’re even thinking in terms of days you’ve spent that are over and days you have got left, you’re probably in the land of the Mid Life Crisis.

So it starts or is defined by a sense of urgency, thinking about your life as limited, ta a thinking about your death and what you did, could have done, could be doing, could do, might miss forever if you don’t do it now.

The actions that go with this self conception, the “red Porsche”, can take many forms. It may seem mild to some, getting a tattoo, changing your hair, going on a trip, taking trapeze or tango lessons, sky diving or bigger things, moving, spending a lot of money on something, whether a house, a car, a swimming pool, a horse, or picking some collection of books to read you never were interested in before. Its could be crazier, starting a drug habit, doing stuff that you always thought were “against the rules”…

There are other types of actions that are not so “bucket list” like things. Changing careers, suddenly realizing you want to run a bed and breakfast instead of working in a big city. Taking up some creative activity nobody thought you were interested in.

What do you think of when you think of Mid Life Crisis? What have you done or seen others do? To be continued…

Book Chapter!

I haven’t posted since February 7. I’m going back to trying short posts more often. I get too long winded and don’t finish posts. Hoping it helps me post more often. Say more with less…

This is the book I have a chapter in. (It’s available on Amazon for range of high prices: 50$ -95$).

The book is edited by Anastacia Kurylo, a Professor in Communication Studies at St. Joseph’s College. She has written several books about communication and stereotypes. I highly recommend her blog, The Communicated Stereotype:

Anastacia Kurylo’s Blog

The book is mostly written by communication professors. Chapter 15, my chapter, is in the last 4th part of the book, called “Practical Tips for  Navigating Intergroup Status.” It’s called, ” Questions That Open up the Field of Impossible Things”.

My writing process, as always, was crazy and torturous, however, I am excited that it has yielded results and an edited finished product with footnotes. I’ve had my visual art in published books before, but this is the first time I’ve had my writing published. The joke is that it is in a book about communication; a lot of people find what I say to be incoherent and confusing! I’m still learning the English Language…